plain and simple ; all i can say is that i can only be defined as being undefined. i am not you so don't compare me. i am one of a kind. illriginal. complex. just sick with it. i have self esteem ; is that being concieted ? im a fiend. materalistic. but not ashamed to admit the facts or the truth. love me. hate me. leave me. join me. doesn't matter to me. i am who i want to be and just a down to earth girl. rephrased. i'm not your average asian bitch. verbally abusive. mentally insane. i learn from others. others learn from me. music keeps me sane. it's a drug. im the user. it's addictin`. coffee is my daily dose to start my day off. caramel mochiatto with a bottle of caramel. my daily order. you. don't know who the fuck i am. don't act as if you know me. get to know me. i'm an outcast that just seems to fit in. makin` sense is something i don't possess. confusion is my weapon. stupidity is what i know. shop with me. buy me things. i'll be your friend. spoiled bitch. brat. i know it. everybody and their mama knows it. unchangable tasks. idiotism is my major. loved. loving. lovable. that four letter word. everywhere. that's where i am. don't like it ? fuck you and have a nice day.
----------------
A SIMPLE MESSAGE FOR YOU
if you are a hater. i <3 you. for many reasons. you have so much time on your hands and you waste it by talkin` shit and worryin` about other people. you are so effin` wonderful in my book. you're only making me a stronger person by doing what you fucking do. remember that. it's simply said. you're a loser. you should know that. but thank you. i speak only for myself. hate me hate me hate me. do it now. because i am being injected with strength and self esteem everytime you open your damn mouth. say it loud. say it proud bitch. it's working. i am a real mothafcka yo. not a fake funker` like many. you don't know who the fuck i am -- so don't act like it. i am me and only me. live with it. ignore it. fuck it. love it.

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Monday, January 19, 2004
.yay.

ok so im really excited. problem is.. i dont know why HAHA im a dork yes. well its funny. see i am who i am but people dont seem to notice that there is two sides to me. the person i am and the person i am for "them" dont try to understand it, just let it be. but movin on.. im tired of everyone around me being so damn depressed and upset. my babygirl keke might have cancer..ugh thats so sad. shes so sweet and the worst thing is that she isnt close with her mother and she will have to move back there to be taken care of by her. damn them all! my best friend is ALSO in the hospital. man so i visit them both. its depressing, i mean what do u say with something like that? i just bring flowers and games for them both. ok so next subject... ok so i really liked and cared about this guy rite. he seemed mad cool. not like any other guy ive ever known... but then when my life turned upside down, he bailed. now, after about a month maybe, he hits me up to see how i am doing. i mean for what? yo he wasnt there when i really needed him, why the fuck would i need him now? he really hurt me. i trusted him. talkin about girls always do him wrong. fuck outta here with that shit. im a good person, i dont deserve to be shitted on, especially by someone i looked to the most. its alrite tho, its my fault for lettin him in .. so then he asks me.. why dont u use your other names on aim? which he mentioned a name that i havent used in years which makes me think of his real motive for hittin me up. im not stupid yo. get outta here with that. u cant play me. and on another note.... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT is REAL AS FUCK!

Posted at 10:30 am by dominiquelee


Sunday, January 18, 2004
.OMG.

omg you frustrate me so much! why wont you let me help you yo ! u kno why there is silence on the phone? cuz u got mad shit on ya mind but wont speak on it. i dont understand you, yet i want to so fuckin bad it bothers the hell outta me. how do u expect to get past anything if u keep it all bottled up inside? atleast tell me u talk to someone about this... anyone really. why cant u see my intentions? i kno u dont really kno me that well...but u arent even trying. i get a dead fuckin end every time. -throws hands up- UGH @ you yo. damn you!

Posted at 06:26 am by dominiquelee


Saturday, January 17, 2004
.blessed.

i am truly blessed. ive finally found someone on my level. someone i can talk to for hours and hours about absolutely NOTHING and still be interesting. hes my baby. im glad that ive been given an opportunity to know him. and to my personal hater... (u kno who u are) GET OVER IT! stop jockin my situation....

Posted at 07:20 am by dominiquelee


Friday, January 16, 2004
.observations.

its extremely frustrating when u really care about someone and you cant figure out why. they have never done anything for you nor do they plan on it...but u care. u dont want anything bad to happen to them and if it was up to you.... you would take their pain away. honestly, sometimes im too fuckin nice. i really think that love, loyality and respect will conquer all. am i wrong? ugh please let me be rite. otherwise im wasting my damn time.

Posted at 04:14 am by dominiquelee


Thursday, January 15, 2004
.ugh.

01.15.04 : thursday
8 :06 PM
currently: chillin... literally
beatz: my soul by me.
-when bad things happen in this country... columbine... 9/11... why does everyone throw their hands up as if they didnt know it was going to happen... or act as if theyre not aware of the things going on in this country... in this world... it's like living in cali or japan and being upset when the earthquake destroys your house... DUH! you live in the asscrack of earthquake land...!
-that's it.. im moving to canada...!

-on the same note... the movie dedicated alot of film time to express how americans are so damn fearful...
"dont be skirred... its just pussy..."
-which brings me to my new little goal... of trying to FUcKiNg ReLaX..!
-i came from an uptight family... and tense situations... its encrypted into my skull.. sue me...

-enough of the nutty talk... im learning a couple new things here and there... keepin positive... tryin to be somewhat productive... have some ideas... but need some startup cash... and more research...
currently: chillin... literally
beatz: my soul by me.

-updates: NONE.. haha
-still in the midst of my forreal job search... invested in some stupid expensive resume paper... how much better of a chance do I have gettin that job with 100% cotton paper... ive gotten resume writing down to an art... i could turn a mcdonalds cashier into a fuckin rocket scientist... newayz... got word back from the womens' shelter... theyre gonna let me know when i can start training to be a counselor... took em long enough to get back to me tho... seems like it could be something really cool... lookin forward to it... other than that... waiting to hear back from the local hospitals... i need to get some hospital shizz on my resume for when i start workin...

-watched Bowling For Columbine last nite... passed out b4 i finished it.. but i get the picture...
-the the point is.... (what i got from it newayz)... this country is FUCKING NUTS!
-but i think i already knew that...
-not too long ago.. i stopped watching TV... stopped watching the news.. stopped paying attention to whats going on... why? because most of it is riduculous bullshit... it really is...
-call me an asshole for not wanting to pay attention... but i just couldnt take anymore of it... its like... watching stupid little kids do stupid things to eachother in the playground during recess... in simple terms... and im living in the middle of this playground...

Posted at 10:01 am by dominiquelee